A Shakespearan Parody

by crawfsh

To be, or not to be, a moderator:

Whether 'tis better for all anime to suffer

The shouts and posts of tofuman and aurorablit,

Or to take arms against a sea of ecchiness,

And by opposing end them? To ban: to sleep;

No more; and by a ban to say we end

The "watermelon" posts, among other perverted messages

That tofuman is heir to, 'tis a consternation

Devoutly to be diss'd. To ban, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep what dreams of kawaii things may come

When we have shut off our computers,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes anime so longed in life;

So who would bear the tofumans and aurorablits of time,

The tofuman's perversion, the aurorablit's insolence,

The pangs of despised Lain, the Love Hina delays,

The insipidness of Onegai Teacher and the spurns

That Doraemon merits from the unworthy subtitles,

but a moderator who might this website make

cleaner with a single click? why would Akari have,

Mods to grunt and sweat on a weary website,

But for the dread of something after tofuman,

The undiscover'd user from whose posts

No moderator returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear the hall of blame

Than allow posts far worse than what we know of?

Thus Akari does make moderators from among us all;

And thus an otaku of allanime

Is simply promoted with the cast of an admin,

And threads of great pith and moment

With moderators, their contents shall not turn awry,

And tarnish the name of anime.--Soft you now!

The fair Akari! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my posts remember'd.